So I was egocentrically browsing blogger stats just now, and learnt that people were stumbling across my blog by searching the term "should I try to be straight?" in Google. Google was subsequently linking them to this blog post, which, while amazing, I feel is too politically-anchored to be of much use to the Googlers in question. As such, I am going to try and answer the question "should I try to be straight" on a more personal level. Because, you know, I aim to please.
Basically, no.
There is no reason for you to try to be straight if you are in fact gay or bisexual.
I completely sympathise with what you are going through right now. Realising you are attracted to members of the same sex is, in this world, one of the most painful processes you can go through as a person. It shouldn't be like this, but unfortunately, in a society dominated by ignorance and the phobia of diversity, being anything other than heterosexual is something that marks you as a target for hate from a small but extremely loud section of the human race.
But the good news is, you are better than they are.
Well, okay, not really. Strictly speaking, all humans are morally equal.
But homophobia, like all other forms of prejudice, is a sign of weakness, ignorance and fear. Throwing proverbial stones at anything different from yourself reduces you to one of the lowest possible stages of human development.
As such, you should never, ever let homophobic people dictate how your life is lived.
The main complication with this, of course, is that your family or close friends may disapprove of homosexuality, or you may fear they will.
Here's the deal. Most people come to terms with sexual orientation in their teenage years, a point in time where we have been trained to panic about anything about ourselves which appears different of unusual. So the great news is, much of your concern over what your mum/dad/sibling/BFF might say is irrational, and does not reflect on reality. You find being not-straight to be something disconcerting and panic-inducing, so you assume that everyone else will think along the same lines. But this often turns out to be false.
Of course, some parents do have a problem with their kids being gay. And because they're your parents, you can't dismiss them like you can with general homophobes.
But know this. Your family's disapproval of what you are is irrational and unfair. There is nothing wrong with loving members of the same gender. You do not need to feel ashamed or guilty of this part of yourself.
Be patient with your parents, and let them come around, as, if they have a modicum of sanity, they most assuredly will. It may take a week or a year, but they will come around. And you will be closer and happier than ever before because of it.
The other thing worth mentioning is that sexual orientation isn't something that goes away if you choose to act like it isn't there. If you try to start heterosexual relationships and even families based on heterosexual relationships, you will only end up hurting yourself and all other parties involved. It's not a route you want to go down.
For some bizarre reason, I'm reminded of the TV license adverts: "Easier to pay, harder to avoid". Because in a similar way, getting through the short-term sharp pain of coming out now will save a much greater amount of pain later on in life.
So, that's about that.
Being the person you were born as does not make you any less of a person.
Gay is fine. If nothing else, Stephen Fry's gay, so it must be vaguely okay.
Until next time!
Basically, no.
There is no reason for you to try to be straight if you are in fact gay or bisexual.
I completely sympathise with what you are going through right now. Realising you are attracted to members of the same sex is, in this world, one of the most painful processes you can go through as a person. It shouldn't be like this, but unfortunately, in a society dominated by ignorance and the phobia of diversity, being anything other than heterosexual is something that marks you as a target for hate from a small but extremely loud section of the human race.
But the good news is, you are better than they are.
Well, okay, not really. Strictly speaking, all humans are morally equal.
But homophobia, like all other forms of prejudice, is a sign of weakness, ignorance and fear. Throwing proverbial stones at anything different from yourself reduces you to one of the lowest possible stages of human development.
As such, you should never, ever let homophobic people dictate how your life is lived.
The main complication with this, of course, is that your family or close friends may disapprove of homosexuality, or you may fear they will.
Here's the deal. Most people come to terms with sexual orientation in their teenage years, a point in time where we have been trained to panic about anything about ourselves which appears different of unusual. So the great news is, much of your concern over what your mum/dad/sibling/BFF might say is irrational, and does not reflect on reality. You find being not-straight to be something disconcerting and panic-inducing, so you assume that everyone else will think along the same lines. But this often turns out to be false.
Of course, some parents do have a problem with their kids being gay. And because they're your parents, you can't dismiss them like you can with general homophobes.
But know this. Your family's disapproval of what you are is irrational and unfair. There is nothing wrong with loving members of the same gender. You do not need to feel ashamed or guilty of this part of yourself.
Be patient with your parents, and let them come around, as, if they have a modicum of sanity, they most assuredly will. It may take a week or a year, but they will come around. And you will be closer and happier than ever before because of it.
The other thing worth mentioning is that sexual orientation isn't something that goes away if you choose to act like it isn't there. If you try to start heterosexual relationships and even families based on heterosexual relationships, you will only end up hurting yourself and all other parties involved. It's not a route you want to go down.
For some bizarre reason, I'm reminded of the TV license adverts: "Easier to pay, harder to avoid". Because in a similar way, getting through the short-term sharp pain of coming out now will save a much greater amount of pain later on in life.
So, that's about that.
Being the person you were born as does not make you any less of a person.
Gay is fine. If nothing else, Stephen Fry's gay, so it must be vaguely okay.
Until next time!
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