This, I feel, is an important lesson for all of us.
Long-term suppression of emotion is bad. It's unhealthy, provides no actual benefit, and results in the the pain you are feeling last a lot longer (thereby hurting more). It may be necessary to suppress your feelings for a time, to get through the day without screaming at people, but you need to let yourself feel sooner or later. Preferably sooner.
Wait until you're in a private space, then "go nuts", as they say. Scream. Cry. Beat up inanimate objects. Write a letter to the one who hurt you, or one apologising to the one you hurt, then rip it up. Play loud music which reflects how you feel. Paint an angry watercolour. Sculpt an abstract representation of rage out of Plasticine, then sell it and make your millions. Whatever it takes.
Then once you've spent all your emotions, talk to someone. (Or do them the other way around it you want to be awkward.) Find someone you trust, who won't spread stuff around, who you've been through things with, who you feel comfortable depressing for a while. Tell them as much as you can, preferably everything. A problem shared is not quite a problem halved, but it is one you'll feel a lot less daunted in facing.
In this day and age (yes, I'm ninety), we, especially the men, are told we need to stuff emotion into a little box and hide it in order to be respected. That's untrue, and even if it was, the respect of strangers would not be worth a burden like that, IMO.
People don't mind talking about your shit now and again. Talking honestly about your problems even strengthens relationships, provided the person you're talking to isn't entirely egocentric in every way. Which hopefully they aren't.
I realise I'm talking to myself as much as I am to you, Person Of The Internet. But hopefully, you've got something out of the experience.
Emotions happen.
Trying to deny or hide them isn't going to help.
That's about the gist of it.
Thanks for reading.
You get a puppy.
You don't get a puppy.
I lied.
Sorry.
Long-term suppression of emotion is bad. It's unhealthy, provides no actual benefit, and results in the the pain you are feeling last a lot longer (thereby hurting more). It may be necessary to suppress your feelings for a time, to get through the day without screaming at people, but you need to let yourself feel sooner or later. Preferably sooner.
Wait until you're in a private space, then "go nuts", as they say. Scream. Cry. Beat up inanimate objects. Write a letter to the one who hurt you, or one apologising to the one you hurt, then rip it up. Play loud music which reflects how you feel. Paint an angry watercolour. Sculpt an abstract representation of rage out of Plasticine, then sell it and make your millions. Whatever it takes.
Then once you've spent all your emotions, talk to someone. (Or do them the other way around it you want to be awkward.) Find someone you trust, who won't spread stuff around, who you've been through things with, who you feel comfortable depressing for a while. Tell them as much as you can, preferably everything. A problem shared is not quite a problem halved, but it is one you'll feel a lot less daunted in facing.
In this day and age (yes, I'm ninety), we, especially the men, are told we need to stuff emotion into a little box and hide it in order to be respected. That's untrue, and even if it was, the respect of strangers would not be worth a burden like that, IMO.
People don't mind talking about your shit now and again. Talking honestly about your problems even strengthens relationships, provided the person you're talking to isn't entirely egocentric in every way. Which hopefully they aren't.
I realise I'm talking to myself as much as I am to you, Person Of The Internet. But hopefully, you've got something out of the experience.
Emotions happen.
Trying to deny or hide them isn't going to help.
That's about the gist of it.
Thanks for reading.
You get a puppy.
You don't get a puppy.
I lied.
Sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment