Ego is a fickle thing. Often, our sense of self-worth is fragile and unstable, and the consequences of having a damaged ego are so painful that we cannot help but be ego-centric, placing the protection of our self-confidence above all else. Or else, we give up entirely on ever having a healthy ego, and the tunnel we are in seems to collapse and becomes a sealed cavern.
Getting the balance right between caring for your emotional health and caring for others', being confident in who you are yet not arrogant and self-centred, is an issue I think we struggle with for the whole of our earthly existence. Chances are it gets easier into adulthood as our lives become more stable, but I wouldn't know.
I'm hardly at the level where I can sufficiently lecture others on "how to like yourself", but there's a few things I've picked up on the matter which may turn out to be worth sharing. So here we go.
It's difficult to get confident until you act confident. To establish a place in the world where you are comfortable requires talking to people. Like, a lot. You need to have enough faith in yourself to share things about you and your life with the wider universe. You need to be able to reach out to people without fear of being stuck down. For me, that's one of the most daunting things, like, ever.
So, as difficult as it is, you need to act like you like yourself at least a little bit during the lengthy process of socialising. You need to block out the voice in your head telling you everyone hates you and act as though you know people are interested in what you have to say.
If it's of any help, I find pretty much anyone can be interesting if they try hard enough. Also, finding the right people who will find you interesting also helps. You're not going to have much success talking about manga and cosplaying to someone who's life revolves around football- at least not until you build up a really good "delivery technique", anyway.
Don't spend your time panicking about what people are thinking about you. I'm not denying that other people's views on you have a certain significance, but you don't want to fall into the trap of spending your energy on worrying about people's approval and not on making yourself into someone they can approve. Generally, trying to do things purely because you think they'll get people to like you is counter-productive. It comes across as superficial and irritating. You are at your best when doing things you love doing for themselves. So, do them.
Focus on the long term. Ego is like economics, in that you can either establish a model of rapid growth and decline, or one of slower, long-term growth. Try to harness your energies into things you love doing that will stay with you long-term and gradually help build you up, rather than more superficial temporary things like the latest fashion or a boyfriend/girlfriend.
At the end of the day, your view of you is up to you. Pleasing others will only take you so far. You need to find away of being a person you yourself approve of if your ego is going to get anywhere significant. Other peoples views, whilst well worth taking into account, are not everything. At the core of it, you need to like yourself because of who and what you are.
You are a diamond. In, like, the whole of the mass media, and also in the blog post, there's all this stuff about changing yourself and making yourself better. Which probably isn't helping the whole self-worth thing. The way I see it, every person is a rough diamond. Everyone already has the things they need to be good people with healthy egos, but those qualities need honing. So that's what I mean when I talk about changing yourself, and it's probably a good way to interpret all the other stuff too.
That's it. Well, it isn't. But it's all I have right now. Hopefully you've found it some kind of useful.
Until next time, mein freunden...
Getting the balance right between caring for your emotional health and caring for others', being confident in who you are yet not arrogant and self-centred, is an issue I think we struggle with for the whole of our earthly existence. Chances are it gets easier into adulthood as our lives become more stable, but I wouldn't know.
I'm hardly at the level where I can sufficiently lecture others on "how to like yourself", but there's a few things I've picked up on the matter which may turn out to be worth sharing. So here we go.
It's difficult to get confident until you act confident. To establish a place in the world where you are comfortable requires talking to people. Like, a lot. You need to have enough faith in yourself to share things about you and your life with the wider universe. You need to be able to reach out to people without fear of being stuck down. For me, that's one of the most daunting things, like, ever.
So, as difficult as it is, you need to act like you like yourself at least a little bit during the lengthy process of socialising. You need to block out the voice in your head telling you everyone hates you and act as though you know people are interested in what you have to say.
If it's of any help, I find pretty much anyone can be interesting if they try hard enough. Also, finding the right people who will find you interesting also helps. You're not going to have much success talking about manga and cosplaying to someone who's life revolves around football- at least not until you build up a really good "delivery technique", anyway.
Don't spend your time panicking about what people are thinking about you. I'm not denying that other people's views on you have a certain significance, but you don't want to fall into the trap of spending your energy on worrying about people's approval and not on making yourself into someone they can approve. Generally, trying to do things purely because you think they'll get people to like you is counter-productive. It comes across as superficial and irritating. You are at your best when doing things you love doing for themselves. So, do them.
Focus on the long term. Ego is like economics, in that you can either establish a model of rapid growth and decline, or one of slower, long-term growth. Try to harness your energies into things you love doing that will stay with you long-term and gradually help build you up, rather than more superficial temporary things like the latest fashion or a boyfriend/girlfriend.
At the end of the day, your view of you is up to you. Pleasing others will only take you so far. You need to find away of being a person you yourself approve of if your ego is going to get anywhere significant. Other peoples views, whilst well worth taking into account, are not everything. At the core of it, you need to like yourself because of who and what you are.
You are a diamond. In, like, the whole of the mass media, and also in the blog post, there's all this stuff about changing yourself and making yourself better. Which probably isn't helping the whole self-worth thing. The way I see it, every person is a rough diamond. Everyone already has the things they need to be good people with healthy egos, but those qualities need honing. So that's what I mean when I talk about changing yourself, and it's probably a good way to interpret all the other stuff too.
That's it. Well, it isn't. But it's all I have right now. Hopefully you've found it some kind of useful.
Until next time, mein freunden...
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