I've been thinking a lot about peer pressure lately. There's a lot to be desired from our attitudes towards it.
Peer pressure is defined as any influence on a person's behaviour by their social group. As such, it is hardly the inherent force of evil most people seem to think it is these days. As always: the hyper-individualist attitude of "don't listen to what anyone thinks ever!" is just as damaging as the conformist attitude of "if you're different in any way you deserved to be mocked about it".
We all know what the problem is with the conformist attitude, so I won't go into it here.
But the problem with the other response, blocking every kind of peer pressure out and telling yourself that no-one's view of you matters, is highly problematic. As a human being, pretty much everything you do ever is going to affect other people in some way. And when you have power like that, you always have the moral responsibility to use it for the most possible good/least possible bad. You cannot effectively enact that responsibility if you are not in tune with what other people think about the things you do.
To put that in real terms- if you don't listen to other people's views on your relationship, you're more likely to hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you don't listen to other people's views on your attitude, you're more likely to end up inadvertently snubbing people you actually like, causing offence, and ending up with no friends. And so on.
The other benefit of peer pressure is it provides you with greater awareness of other people, and helps you to develop social skills. This really applies to younger children; but those who paid no attention to what other people thought early in life generally have more problems with starting relationships (of all kinds) later in life.
So, with that in mind, the big question is this: where do we draw the line?
While we must allow peer pressure to shape us in some way, it's all too easy to take that too far, too. A lot of the times, people's criticism of you stems only from their own struggling egos, and a desire to crawl up the social ladder. As such, this criticism has precious little to do with you, in any real sense.
So how do we let ourselves be guided by the constructive without taking the inconsequential to heart?
I think the issue lies in how you process the pressure from your peers that you receive. The people who become desperate, insecure approval-slaves are the ones who have a gut reaction to "other people think this = I must do it". This is wrong, simply because people are often wrong. No, the healthy response to peer pressure is to take it in rationally, and make us of it as just another factor in the ongoing process of self-reflection.
In other words, what we should be doing is this:
peer pressure => reflection => = take in other factors => more reflection => conclusion => action
When all too often we simply do:
peer pressure => action
So, that's that.
Don't take everything other people say about you to heart, but do take it into account in a healthy and constructive way.
I think that's the closest I'm going to get to a satisfying summary on the matter.
Sorry for the lack of posts recently (because I'm sure you were all emotional wrecks without your regular Mouth of Copson fix), I plan to blog more in the days to come.
Ciao!
Peer pressure is defined as any influence on a person's behaviour by their social group. As such, it is hardly the inherent force of evil most people seem to think it is these days. As always: the hyper-individualist attitude of "don't listen to what anyone thinks ever!" is just as damaging as the conformist attitude of "if you're different in any way you deserved to be mocked about it".
We all know what the problem is with the conformist attitude, so I won't go into it here.
But the problem with the other response, blocking every kind of peer pressure out and telling yourself that no-one's view of you matters, is highly problematic. As a human being, pretty much everything you do ever is going to affect other people in some way. And when you have power like that, you always have the moral responsibility to use it for the most possible good/least possible bad. You cannot effectively enact that responsibility if you are not in tune with what other people think about the things you do.
To put that in real terms- if you don't listen to other people's views on your relationship, you're more likely to hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you don't listen to other people's views on your attitude, you're more likely to end up inadvertently snubbing people you actually like, causing offence, and ending up with no friends. And so on.
The other benefit of peer pressure is it provides you with greater awareness of other people, and helps you to develop social skills. This really applies to younger children; but those who paid no attention to what other people thought early in life generally have more problems with starting relationships (of all kinds) later in life.
So, with that in mind, the big question is this: where do we draw the line?
While we must allow peer pressure to shape us in some way, it's all too easy to take that too far, too. A lot of the times, people's criticism of you stems only from their own struggling egos, and a desire to crawl up the social ladder. As such, this criticism has precious little to do with you, in any real sense.
So how do we let ourselves be guided by the constructive without taking the inconsequential to heart?
I think the issue lies in how you process the pressure from your peers that you receive. The people who become desperate, insecure approval-slaves are the ones who have a gut reaction to "other people think this = I must do it". This is wrong, simply because people are often wrong. No, the healthy response to peer pressure is to take it in rationally, and make us of it as just another factor in the ongoing process of self-reflection.
In other words, what we should be doing is this:
peer pressure => reflection => = take in other factors => more reflection => conclusion => action
When all too often we simply do:
peer pressure => action
So, that's that.
Don't take everything other people say about you to heart, but do take it into account in a healthy and constructive way.
I think that's the closest I'm going to get to a satisfying summary on the matter.
Sorry for the lack of posts recently (because I'm sure you were all emotional wrecks without your regular Mouth of Copson fix), I plan to blog more in the days to come.
Ciao!
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