Two interrelated things which I often hear people not understanding are a) what the point of gay pride is and b) why gay people feel the need to have their own support groups and internet forums and whatnot. So I'm going to do my best to concisely explain both of them, speaking from my infallible position of informedness as A Person of Gayness.
Firstly, Pride. People are often confused about Pride for understandable reasons, like, how is being gay something to be proud of? Homosexuality isn't an accomplishment, it's just a thing you are; we don't have "tall pride" or "blonde pride" or even "straight pride", so why gay pride? Similarly, marching down the streets with rainbow flags seems to be in direct conflict with what people understand to be the whole point of the LGBT rights movement: to assure straight cissexuals that gender and sexual minorities (GSMs) are not so different from them, and thus discretely integrate gay etc. people into straight-dominated society.
The point of pride is that it is the opposite of shame. Shame is what opponents of GSM rights would have gay, bi and trans people feel; and it is often the default emotional setting for GSMs when they are coming to terms with their own "weirdness" in the face of a society where heterosexuality and cissexuality are consistently showcased as the way to be. So the point of gay/LGBT pride is to declare unto the world that being gay etc. is not something that people should be ashamed of.
If it helps, try to tweak the definition of "pride" in this context from "a reaction to one's accomplishments" to "open satisfaction with the way one is", which is closer to the definition of the word when used in, say, Pride and Prejudice. I think a lot of the confusion surrounding rainbow-ardorned capital-P Pride basically comes down to semantics.
So Pride gives people a chance to be open about something which they usually spend a lot of effort trying to hide or suppress, and it serves to show the world that being gay etc. is not something to be ashamed of. The reason we don't have straight pride is that the straight equivalent of Pride is embodied in everyday life: in all the advertisements and TV shows and various other media outlets which showcase heterosexual relationships, and also the cultural assumptions about how every child and world leader and next-door-neighbour is going to be straight.
The other thing is GSM groups online and IRL, which is kind of a smaller-scale version of the 'ghettoization' drive which creates gay-centric districts and communities in cities. I remember a specific occasion when someone told me they thought such things were pointless, in response to a gay Christian online forum. His reasoning was that having gay-specific groups and forums implies that gay etc. people are incapable of discussing issues with straight people, which is quite demonstrably not the case. So why bother?
The reason I, personally, have been prone to seek out gay-specific groups online and IRL is that I want to briefly be somewhere where being gay isn't weird. The truth is, no matter how accepting the people around you are, being a marked minority is always going to be kind of wearing. Knowing that, for instance, everything you say about sex/romance/whatever will always have a kind of strange novelty for most people, and that at any point someone could ask you if you have a girlfriend and you'll have to explain and they could be one of the ones who react badly, and that well over 95% of your acquaintances are privileged in a way that you will never be and can't help sometimes resenting, is something that you just need to not be the case every once in a while. Creating gay groups, or gay 'ghettos', gives us the privilege of being the majority once in a while, and there's a certain kind of freedom interlinked with that; which, by necessity, people who are white and heteronormative have difficulty understanding, because it's something that they take for granted every day and probably can't really imagine not having. (I also take that freedom for granted when it comes to my accent, the colour of my skin, my cultural background, and to a certain extent my sex.)
Also, while gay people are not incapable of talking to straight people about life and stuff, there are certain issues which do apply pretty much exclusively to GSMs, and which few straight-cissexuals are empathetic enough to understand or want to talk about. This isn't a bad thing or something I'm trying to make straights feel guilty about, it's just the way it is. I'm talking coming out to your family, trying to tune your gadar (you laugh, but it's hard!), what the gay scene is like and how not to freak out whilst navigating it, etc. In the average room of people, where the vast majority is probably straight, conversation is naturally going to be guided away from these topics, because most of the people talking don't care. Having organised gay groups lets GSMs talk about this stuff without the uncomfortable feeling that most people present are bored and want to start talking about boobs.
So, there you have it. If you're not convinced or have further queries, then I welcome you to ask me. If you want. You might not. It's ultimately your life, I suppose.
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Firstly, Pride. People are often confused about Pride for understandable reasons, like, how is being gay something to be proud of? Homosexuality isn't an accomplishment, it's just a thing you are; we don't have "tall pride" or "blonde pride" or even "straight pride", so why gay pride? Similarly, marching down the streets with rainbow flags seems to be in direct conflict with what people understand to be the whole point of the LGBT rights movement: to assure straight cissexuals that gender and sexual minorities (GSMs) are not so different from them, and thus discretely integrate gay etc. people into straight-dominated society.
The point of pride is that it is the opposite of shame. Shame is what opponents of GSM rights would have gay, bi and trans people feel; and it is often the default emotional setting for GSMs when they are coming to terms with their own "weirdness" in the face of a society where heterosexuality and cissexuality are consistently showcased as the way to be. So the point of gay/LGBT pride is to declare unto the world that being gay etc. is not something that people should be ashamed of.
If it helps, try to tweak the definition of "pride" in this context from "a reaction to one's accomplishments" to "open satisfaction with the way one is", which is closer to the definition of the word when used in, say, Pride and Prejudice. I think a lot of the confusion surrounding rainbow-ardorned capital-P Pride basically comes down to semantics.
So Pride gives people a chance to be open about something which they usually spend a lot of effort trying to hide or suppress, and it serves to show the world that being gay etc. is not something to be ashamed of. The reason we don't have straight pride is that the straight equivalent of Pride is embodied in everyday life: in all the advertisements and TV shows and various other media outlets which showcase heterosexual relationships, and also the cultural assumptions about how every child and world leader and next-door-neighbour is going to be straight.
The other thing is GSM groups online and IRL, which is kind of a smaller-scale version of the 'ghettoization' drive which creates gay-centric districts and communities in cities. I remember a specific occasion when someone told me they thought such things were pointless, in response to a gay Christian online forum. His reasoning was that having gay-specific groups and forums implies that gay etc. people are incapable of discussing issues with straight people, which is quite demonstrably not the case. So why bother?
The reason I, personally, have been prone to seek out gay-specific groups online and IRL is that I want to briefly be somewhere where being gay isn't weird. The truth is, no matter how accepting the people around you are, being a marked minority is always going to be kind of wearing. Knowing that, for instance, everything you say about sex/romance/whatever will always have a kind of strange novelty for most people, and that at any point someone could ask you if you have a girlfriend and you'll have to explain and they could be one of the ones who react badly, and that well over 95% of your acquaintances are privileged in a way that you will never be and can't help sometimes resenting, is something that you just need to not be the case every once in a while. Creating gay groups, or gay 'ghettos', gives us the privilege of being the majority once in a while, and there's a certain kind of freedom interlinked with that; which, by necessity, people who are white and heteronormative have difficulty understanding, because it's something that they take for granted every day and probably can't really imagine not having. (I also take that freedom for granted when it comes to my accent, the colour of my skin, my cultural background, and to a certain extent my sex.)
Also, while gay people are not incapable of talking to straight people about life and stuff, there are certain issues which do apply pretty much exclusively to GSMs, and which few straight-cissexuals are empathetic enough to understand or want to talk about. This isn't a bad thing or something I'm trying to make straights feel guilty about, it's just the way it is. I'm talking coming out to your family, trying to tune your gadar (you laugh, but it's hard!), what the gay scene is like and how not to freak out whilst navigating it, etc. In the average room of people, where the vast majority is probably straight, conversation is naturally going to be guided away from these topics, because most of the people talking don't care. Having organised gay groups lets GSMs talk about this stuff without the uncomfortable feeling that most people present are bored and want to start talking about boobs.
So, there you have it. If you're not convinced or have further queries, then I welcome you to ask me. If you want. You might not. It's ultimately your life, I suppose.
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I figured out LGBT but you haven't explained the acronym 'GSM', making read this blog quote difficult
ReplyDeleteFYI its shaun, I'm only anonymous since its the easiest thing to select
I did use the typed out version at the start of the post, it stands for "Gender and Sexual Minorities".
ReplyDelete